Monday, May 14, 2007
Dicking Around and other Quality wastes of time
Current mood:I think the curry was a bad idea :(
An Old Quality Waste of Time found on a Zip Drive
Name: e
1. What member of the fantastic four would you be and why? (If you are saying to yourself 'fantastic who?' Complete the following sentence… I am…a. On Fire, b. Rock Solid, c. Flexible, d. the sensible one with good looks that not everyone can see.)
FLAME ON! He is fucking rad and can fly!
2. How old are you? How old do you act? How old do you feel?
28. It is a toss up between 8 and 58. Old, old, oooold.
3. Where do you live? Where do you feel like you live?
Not quite one place or the other these days. In some sort of fucked up alternate universe.
4. If you were an animal what animal would you be and why?
A jellyfish, they are incredible!
5. What is your dream job?
Artist, designer, publisher, international jet setter!
6. List your top 3 favorite books (comics, zines, magazines, pulps, pop-ups, newspapers, bathroom stalls)?
1. Force Majure by Bruce Wagner
2. The Basic Eight by Daniel Handler
3. It's a Long Way to Heaven by Abner Dean
7. When you curl up on a rainy, snowy, sunny, smoggy day you are most likely to be found with a…?
Rainy- a video on taking a nap and a cat on my belly
Snowy- curled up in bed thinking about going to play in the snow
Sunny- If it is not too warm, (70+) I am outside dinking around or in a hammock napping and reading, daydreaming in the lush grass
Smoggy- hiding inside until it is too dark out to see the smog
8. Movies
Favorite Anytime Movie: Happy Gilmore/Orgazmo
Favorite Tear Jerker: Harold and Maude
Favorite Classic: The Third Man
All Time Favorite: (SOOO hard to choose) favorite of the moment HOT FUZZ!
9.When it comes to Television you…
a. plan to or already have "Killed your Television"
b. give it a big hug everyday and whisper in its monitor "…teacher, mother, secret lover."
c. Watch ONLY PBS!
d. could take it or leave it.
e. other (please specify):
TOTALLY B!
10. What is your favorite hobby?
Daydreaming, making neat stuff, napping
11.Complete these sentences…
When I am happy I am like a: comfortable chair
When I am angry I am like a: Z-scale whirling dervish
When I am sad I am like a: small round stone
Most of the time I am like a: comfortable chair
12. Do you have kids, pets, roommates, or all of the above? Which and how many?
Pet- 1- My Furry Man Cat Man!
13. When it comes to music you would most likely be…
a. listening to nothing but politically conscious talk radio
b. dancing up a storm…while doing your dishes
c. spinning vinyl on your turntable
d. putting up with whatever comes on the radio
e. other (please specify):
Listening to Swedish lounge radio on the internet or something coming out of my little digital doo dad thingy. I do also enjoy listening to records.
14. If you could have dinner with anyone living who would it be and why?
Eddie Izzard, David Sedaris, or John Waters I would love to hear them tell me stories!
15. If you could have dinner with anyone dead who would it be and why?
Stanley Kubrick, Dorothy Parker, or Ed Wood for the same reason.
16. Complete these sentences…
I always have a good time: in the water.
If I found a few dollars in my couch I would definitely spend it on: bubbles.
17.You are having a PERFECT day and resting next to you is a big pitcher of…
Iced Peppermint Tea
18.At a costume party you are most likely to be dressed as…
Nothing too exciting, but everyone with me would be done up to the nines courtesy of my collection of crap and blossoming make-up skills
19. That special someone shows up to take you out to dinner… they have just won the lottery and all food has been engineered to contain only the perfect balance of nutrients. You would go to…
Korea to eat fresh octopus !
That special someone shows up to take you out to dinner… they have just paid all their bills and repaired their car, but can't wait to take you out. You would go to…
The back of my fridge or kitchen cabinets.
That special someone shows up to take you out to dinner… everything is perfect and you are both modern folks so you decide to go "dutch". You would go to…
Depends on the mood. Could be Crown Burger, Oasis, or Sushi…
Fabio (Famous 'I can't believe it's not butter' spokes person and romance novel cover model) shows up to take you out to dinner…
Demand a piggy back ride! And eat somewhere ridiculous like a theme restaurant.
20. Top 3 thing you want to do before you die.
1. travel everywhere (except parts of the south and mid-west, for whatever reason they just don't float my boat)
2. make a difference
3. find someone to curl up next to and feel just right
Currently listening:
Once Again
By John Legend
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Friday, May 18, 2007
The Drilling has Rendered me Totally Useless
Current mood:bourfant
Stolen without any consideration from Splendid's Department of Pointless Questions. Originally posted with answers by the members of the band Replicator circa 2005
What band did you listen to most during the eighties? Do you still like them?
Jefferson Starship, The Muppets Records, Oblio and the Point, Three Dog Night, The Original Cast Recording of Little Shop of Horrors, and Star Wars read along records. I pretty much still like all of this stuff.
What is your worst memory of elementary school? Of high school?
I don't want to answer this question.
You're about to -- ahem -- get lucky. What album is playing in the background? Why'd you choose it?
Lucky, eh? Is it wrong that I hear Herb Alpert and his Tijuana Brass? And I think of lucky as in that irritating cartoon from the lucky charm's box and I am kicking his ass for being such a little s.o.b. … trix rabbit you're next!
What was the first thing you ever shoplifted? Why did you take it?
I used to take neat erasers from other peoples desks at school. I took them because I thought they wouldn't take good enough care of them. I guess that isn't really shoplifting, but I still feel completely guilty about it and just a tad insane.
If you could beat up anyone in the world and get away without the usual annoying real-world consequences -- jail time, lawsuits, bad press, etc. --who would it be, and why?
University parking ticket cocks, they are ALL COCKS and I want to kick their stupid arrogant bike riding pointless rule enforcing asses!
What's the biggest risk you've ever taken? Why did you take it?
I'm not a big risk taker, I've never broken a bone or been stung by a bee. I have done some dumb shit, but I dunno if that counts.
It's better to regret something you have done than it is to regret something you haven't done. What do you regret doing (other than agreeing to answer these questions)? Why did you do it?
This is a Butthole Surfers reference so now all I can think about is when I saw them in concert at Saltair with the giant moss covered penises on the stage, but I don't regret that.
Did you go to your high school prom? If so, who did you go with?
Nope. I sort of regret it, but not really, more I regret the idea that I didn't have an awesome moment like totally Pretty in Pink (except I would have totally gone with Duckie) I did go to the queer prom, but I mostly sat around and sold flowers.
What movie would you recommend to absolutely anyone? Why?
Wallace and Grommit: Curse of the Ware Rabbit. Cute, scary, funny, smart, and fucking rad full-length claymation!
For reasons we won't bother going into right now, you're going to be locked in the back of a truck for a sixteen hour drive between gigs. If you could have any musician, past or present, back there to keep you company, who would it be?
If I could get a band it would be GOMEZ! One person Art Pepper.
What is your strongest, most unshakeable belief?
That "First Knight" really is one of the suckiest movies ever made!
What's the worst band you've ever heard? Why do they suck?
In person Babe the Blue OX because they sucked and they blew out one of the speakers so when the headliner band Cake came on they were so ticked that they played a super short set with no encore. Ever EVER heard… I dunno there is a lot of shit music out there!
If you were a porn star, what would your "porn name" be?
Elizabeth Briarcliff, if playing by the porn star name game rules, otherwise maybe it would be Morgana Titulator.
You're on your way to a show, and all of a sudden you find yourself in the middle of a huge four-way battle between pirates, ninjas, robots and intelligent apes from the future. Your only hope of getting to your gig is to pick a side. Who do you join, and why?
This is tough, even more so then the vintage question of Monkey vs. Robot. I've never really seen any "real" ninjas so unless they were like awesome ninjas from a Chow Yun Fat movie or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, I am prone to believe that the only ninjas I would run into around these parts are greasy white guy action highlanders who own crappy shiny katanas and lame crap like that. In other words I'm not going with the ninjas. Pirates, well being that I am in a totally land locked place, I doubt that pirates would show up, gypsies maybe, but not pirates and I am not worried about gypsies because I don't own any silver and I can make a damn good goulash. Robots, nah I'm just not into robots. So process of elimination I'd have to go with the super intelligent apes form the future. I mean k'mon they are from the future, they had to have gotten here somehow, they are intelligent and could in fact be pirate robot ninja apes anyway, I'm with them for sure.
If you could sponsor any beverage -- appear in their ads, receive a lifetime supply and never be seen drinking a competing product -- what beverage would it be?
Unsweetened Iced Peppermint Tea! No one really makes it, hence there are no competitors, so I am all over it and not all that worried about straying.
What's the best venue you've ever played? What's the worst? Why?
I've never really "played" a venue, but the worst venue I've seen a concert in was the 'E' Center, poo poo no good! And the best was definately the dive bar down river in Detroit where we went to see Elvis Shelton.
What's wrong with Rolling Stone these days?
They suck a big one! They haven't been good since the Chili Peppers had John Fersachante(sp) in the band the first time around.
Why are frogs amusing?
Oh froggies, I love froggies and Kermit the frog. I have an awesome picture on my blog of frogs that someone painted for Gomez, frogs are just rad.
You've traveled back in time and met yourself, age sixteen. What do you think?
Look at you, damn you are more fashionable then you'll ever know. Watch out for sociopaths and consider paying more attention during Latin class. By the way you are so NOT FAT!
Which would be worse: three hours on a bus full of four year-olds, or three hours on a bus full of eighty year-olds? Why?
I have spent three hours on a bus full of four year olds and I'd do it again. I don't really have anything against eighty year-olds, but I am going though something right now and being around the elderly, especially en-mass is really hard for me.
The US government is considering far more aggressive regulation of leather pants. Under the new rules, who should or shouldn't be allowed to wear them?
I wouldn't enforce it, but I say pretty much no body except for people going to leather bars or stormy leather parties, well and anyone who needs them for work. (As in protection, not fashion, I wore leather when I did blacksmithing)
What, in your opinion, is the best porn?
I dunno I only own a few things and they would rate in the so/so category. I have some great art photo books that are much better. There is plenty of great porn with extreme camp value. I do enjoy the audio erotica series.
What could you eat everyday and never get tired of? Why?
Sushi or sandwich, both so tasty.
Will the next Star Wars movie suck? Why or why not?
Yes, yes it will. George Lucas is a tiny little pud obsessed with all the shitty parts of good things. A haunted mansion, you have got to be kidding me?!
How many roads must a man walk down before they call him a man?
However many it takes until he runs into them and they say, "Hey MAN!"
Everyone's replacing their least-favorite body parts with cybernetic ones. Which part(s) of your body would you replace?
Could I have cybernetic tentacle hair? If it was waterproof and super strong I would totally do that, it'd be super rad!
What topics or statements would inspire you to call in to a talk radio program?
I've never really called in to a radio show. Once I called to request the song "Lump" by the Presidents of the United States of America and I called a few times trying to win stupid contests. I did call Loveline once when they had the guys from Duran Duran on because one of them wanted a suggestion for a good book to read. (The line was busy.)
What album(s) should everyone be given on their eighteenth birthday?
Andy Warhol- Umm Yes, Umm No. Undoubtedly they will turn around and immediately sell it and buy whatever it is they really want at the time. It will only be years later that they realize its relevance and actually miss it a bit.
Currently listening:
Sloppy Seconds
By Dr. Hook & The Medicine Show
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Friday, June 01, 2007
40 Things that really drive me nuts…
Current mood: aggravated
1. Couples who manage each others food
2. People who are constantly on diets
3. People who spend all their time talking about how they should really commit to a diet and start working out
4. Skinny people who don't talk about needing to be healthy, but talk about needing to be skinny
5. Children who criticize others the way adults do
6. Pessimistic seven year olds
7. That my back hurts and I spent the morning feeling like I wanted to puke
8. Rashes!
9. Getting ready to move
10. That looking healthy is more valuable then being healthy
11. Couples who gripe about each other in that 'oh men' or 'oh women' Archie Bunker kind of way
12. Stress
13. Being lonely
14. Skin problems
15. Not sleeping well
16. Anxiety dreams
17. Regrets
18. Missing people you know you can never see again
19. That my good for the world phone service was so bad that I chose to go to the big corporate monster phone service, but my service is so much better
20. Feeling ashamed about the idea of going skinny dipping, just the idea
21. Managing my money
22. People with entitlement issues
23. My current garbage man
24. Cleaning up dog shit on my lawn even thought I don't own a dog
25. All the unfinished projects that keep following me around
26. My body being other peoples problem
27. Health Insurance
28. Planning for Retirement
29. That stuff from my past still really bothers me
30. Giving up my awesome bathtub
31. Hanging on to mean things that people say
32. Saying mean things to myself
33. Not having a lawnmower, but needing to mow my lawn
34. Change!
35. Only being attracted to jerks, sociopaths, and enigmatic weirdoes.
36. That I started this list on Tuesday morning and I still haven't finished it and today is Friday.
37. Almost missing the bus to work.
38. That I am trying to get obsessed with Arthur, but it is not really working.
39. Babies and young kids in late night movies.
40. That 'the drugs don't work…they just make things worse.'
Currently reading:
Valley of the Dolls
By Jacqueline Susann
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