Monday, June 04, 2007
A HOT as fuck waste of time after 1 hour of sleep.
Current mood:BROACHING IN MY OWN SKIN!!!
Stolen without consideration yet again from the now defunct Splendid e-zine POINTLESS QUESTIONS originally answered by the Dials' Emily Dennison
Various religions suggest that there's a "special" hell for certain sins (hurting children, being cruel to animals, using the word "blog" as a verb, etc). Who else needs a "special" hell?
Special hell? Humm, is that like the special peoples club? I dunno I'm not really much for hell and now all I can hear in my head is the pounding of the surf drum from 'Welcome to the Dollhouse' Oh the pleasure of an unfinished orgasm.
Due to poor financial planning, you've got to eat for an entire week on only US$10. What do you buy, food-wise?
A bunch of those scary two for a buck pizza kind of things that you can put in the microwave even though the box tells you not too
What's the biggest misconception that people have about you?
A lot of people that I used to work with were always so shocked to see me drink beer and hear me swear. I think that always really bothered me because we worked with kids so it is not like I was going to whip out a cold brew while I was driving a van full of first graders and start complaining about all the god damn cock ass shit that fucks this world up, BALLS! If I had a cock I would whip it out and slap them with it!
What's the worst injury you've ever suffered for your art (i.e. second degree burns from shorted-out mic, broken leg from failed stage dive)? Tell us about it.
I have gotten a lot of cuts and burns over the years, still no stitches or parts chopped off with an x-acto knife so I do have a leg up on some. I would say the top two were one: when I cut my leg on a piece of pipe and it was like a fucking apple corer and I had this fucked up flap of skin flopping all over the place (that time I probably could have used stitches, but I just taped it together and used liquid bandage); two: I was making scary death salsa and I cut up all these hot as fuck chilies and then I touched my face, I was burning and bright ass red for a week, but my roommate did really enjoy the salsa.
You've got unlimited funding and technical expertise to make an IMAX movie on the topic of your choice. What do you choose? Describe the obligatory vertigo-inducing camera shot that makes the entire audience clutch their stomachs.
The undersea jelly fish experience! Lots of undulating semi transparent stuff pushing and flowing through the water, plenty of opportunities for disorientating motion shots. Can it be in IMAX and 3-D?
You've locked your car keys inside the tour van and don't have AAA. How do you get the door open?
I take the bus to wherever it is that I need to be and call my brother who has my spare keys and at some later date he drives me back to my car and unlocks it. If I was on tour in a shitty van I might just break the window, or if it is like any of the shitty vans that I have known, one of the doors never really locks anyway.
Ever find useful stuff in the garbage? Describe your best-ever dumpster find and how you used it.
Best garbage find ever was a giant scenic painting of a tropical sunset, an original, just sitting on top of some guys curbside trash pile. I have it hanging prominently in my living room. Also I found a complete wooden croquet set and a vintage cruiser bike that just needed new tires, but was in good shape otherwise.
If you were a 50ft high Tyrannosaurus Rex, would you use your powers for good or evil? Who would you go after first?
It depends on the audience if I am doing good or not, I imagine regardless people would eventually get tired of me and I would be sent to live on Monster Island and get bossed around by Godzilla and Rodan.
You've decided to write a musical. What's it about and who's the star?
Well it is more my brother's dream then mine, but I do think it would be a hell of a musical…..HOBOPOLIS! The Hobo Opera! Staring Cal Rampton as J.G. Pennypacker with Bea Arthur as the alluring Hobo Queen.
What's your favorite board game? Why do you like it?
It's not really a board game, but I like playing surrealist games. Come play sometime and you'll see why :)
Everyone likes at least one cheesy/crappy song that totally kills their cred. What's yours?
Despite the fact that I have dropped in many peoples estimation for enjoying the occasional Madonna song, my cheesy crappy song of choice has got to be "We Built This City (On Rock and Roll) by Jefferson Starship" I love that song!
The standard touring vehicle is always a beat-up van. What has been the worst/weirdest method of conveyance you've had to use on a tour?
I once had a friend try and talk me into going on a handcart pioneer trek from nowhere to nowhere. I declined. Oh and the horrid puddle jumper commuter plane from Chicago to Detroit at 3:30 in the morning
Will it ever truly be possible to "rock the vote", or will apathy, indifference and laziness always triumph over activism?
I'm not sure if I should care that much about 'rockin the vote' I feel too old for that slogan now and frankly all the people young enough to fit into that demographic keep turning out to be scary right wing republican nut jobs and I'd rather they didn't rock anything.
You want to cry? I'll give you something to cry about. What would you like to cry about?
Sure, I could use a good cry. I really haven't done it in a while. I feel pretty numb most of the time. Physical pain doesn't usually do it to me unless it comes along with something else, I'd rather not cry about the something else again. I suppose if I could just have a good girly menstrual cry that would work for me.
If you could watch one historical event re-enacted by a cast of chimpanzees, which one would it be, and why?
I feel like I should say the civil war, but I am thinking a more pleasurable experience for me would be a party at the height of Andy Warhol's Factory in NYC. Just imagine the surly Lou Reed chimp.
How long after an unopened gallon of milk's "use-by" date has passed would you be willing to use it?
Until it tastes bad to me. Mostly I drink rice milk and it always tastes kind of bad.
What is the most unusual item you've thrown up on/in?
I was at a house that was being remodeled and I found the bathroom and I puked, but then I thought it would be a keen idea to go and look around at the unfinished part of the house and I ended up in the basement somewhere and I puked into a hole in the floor that I decided might be some kind of drain.
Do you prefer the term "underwear" or "underpants"? What does that say about you?
I am all about the underpants. That is after all where you do or not to put them so it seems fitting, I also like saying tighttie whities, boxers, panties, or Y fronts depending on the style and situation.
You've been asked to submit an anecdote or "tip" to a book called Everything I Need to Know About Life I Learned On Tour With My Band. What do you tell them?
I don't have a band nor do I tour with them, but I have gone on a road trip or two in my time. Lesson: keep your dick clean and your stick on the ice!
What basic freedoms are you prepared to give up in exchange for you and your family's safety?
I don't fucking know there are just too many variables in that question.
Due to a breakthrough in technology, it's possible to learn any skill, no matter how complex, pretty much instantly, by uploading the information directly into your brain (yes, like in The Matrix). Unfortunately, you can only do it once. What skill would you learn, and why?
Lame answer…zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance…actual answer…humm definitely awesome skills with my hands and something really useful.
A long-lost possession has turned up on EBay, and you're prepared to pay much more than it's worth just to finally get it back. What is it? Why is it worth so much to you?
The 'Mr. Merlin' metal lunch box and thermos that my mom gave away!
Right this very second, what are you most looking forward to, and why?
Taking a NAP! It is hot as hell and I am tired as fuck (sadly not from fucking) but luck be a lady, due to HVAC issues my job is closing today at noon and will not re-open until Wednesday [Happy Happy Joy JOY! Happy Happy Joy JOY! Happy Happy Joy JOY, JOY!]
Currently listening:
Artifact
By Sound Tribe Sector 9
__
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
More coming about my Campaign Slogan
Current mood: sleepy
Callously stolen from the defunct e-zine 'Splendid' POINTLESS QUESTIONS originally answered by NOFX's El Hefe
1. What is your least favorite article of clothing, and why?
Right now shirts because someone out there seems to think that fat girls are wide not long so all the shirts I try on don't even cover my navel, WHAT THE FUCK?!
2. What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?
That so many douche bags talk about it, but they don't take any fucking action and that there are plenty of people out there preaching a doctrine allegedly based on peace, love, and understanding and they are the first one to show up on the front lines and kick you when you are down, again… WHAT THE FUCK?!
3. If you could remove 20ccs of fat from one part of your body and inject it into another, where would the fat come from/go to?
Humm…being a Hungarian I have no ass, but I am not really that interested in putting fat in my ass, I really have to think about this one…maybe from someplace weird like under my arm and inject it into the top of my foot? Geeze I dunno.
4. What three essential accessories would be in your dream tour van/vehicle?
A fucking great sound system, zub-zero air-conditioning, and something crazy like an endless pool or a monkey butler.
5. Which is more frightening: a venue full of people who don't like your music, or a room full of two-year-olds? Why?
I don't have a band, but I have been involved in shows of one kind or another and I have also already been in a room full of two-year-olds. Based on how much of a total people pleaser I am I have to choose the two-year-olds they can make a pretty good audience, they enjoy repeats, the poop isn't that big of a deal, and sooner or later they want a snack and to take a nap.
6. Name three activities that would be more interesting/entertaining/enjoyable with the addition of monkeys.
Karaoke, reality television (except for Survivor), and strip clubs.
7. What's the best venue you've ever played? What's the worst? Why?
I've answered this previously and since I am not in a band I don't have much to say. I can say that the black box theater at SLCC South campus was the worst to work on a show in and the theater at Westminster was the best, it's cat walk is fucking swank…I could have lived up there.
8. What was the last thing you watched on television? How did you like it?
CSI, it was the original one so I enjoyed it as usual and it was a particularly good episode, season finale season 3 I think.
9. Describe your dream vacation.
Eating fresh octopus in Korea at an open air fish market and then traveling all over the world, I think I elaborate on this in other previous blogs, if not then it is sure to come up when I get back to the topic of my breasts, etc.
10. Does everyone need to own a computer? Why or why not?
I don't care, they should have access if they want it, but who am I to tell the world that every-fucking-body needs a computer or not… "Who's the boss? Tony Danza? I don't think so!"
11. What activities (or whatever) are currently illegal, but in your opinion shouldn't be? What activities *are* legal, but should be outlawed?
Humm, another head scratcher, I am so uncomfortable with authority that I'd rather just avoid it…I suppose that reform on immigration laws and fair wages would be nice, sorting out the whole equal rights thing wouldn't hurt either…things to be outlawed: Metallica, any beverage that looks too much like piss or any other bodily fluid (blood can be debated, what with the whole blue to red business, also in that case it is more of a viscosity issue), and Helen Hunt!
12. Who should be the leader of the free world?
I dunno, I think Steve Martin might do an alright job. Maybe someone like Jello Biafra or Henry Rollins as advisers and Steven Colbert and Jon Stewart for good measure.
13. You have an eight-hour trip to your next gig. You're not driving, and you're not sleepy. You have the option of reading a book, listening to an album, watching a movie or playing a video game. Which do you choose? And what is the book/album/movie/game in question?
I get car sick SO easily! I would have to be listening to an album…my ultimate road trip music…old R.E.M. like Reckoning or Dead Letter Office, definitely something by Art Pepper…Smack Up, GOMEZ…Liquid Skin, if I could I'd probably just listen to my favorite Swedish lounge radio, almost enough zen that I could find my way to getting sleepy, ahh nothing like a good road nap (it's a skill I'd like to perfect).
14. What was the best live rock show you ever saw?
Top three, in chronological order…BLUR at St. Andrews Hall in Detroit, GOMEZ especially the show at DV8, and George Clinton and Parliament Funkadellic…they played for fucking 5 hours it was amazing!
15. Scientists have suggested that trainspotting (the hobby of obsessively traveling rail lines, watching trains, cataloging engine numbers, etc.) is a form of autism. What other so-called "hobbies" might actually be deep-seated psychological disorders?
Most if not everything I do…and if it is not something that I do then it is something that I am inexplicably attracted to like enigmas and sociopaths.
16. You're in an elevator with Mariah Carey, Marilyn Manson and George W. Bush. The elevator becomes trapped between floors. What happens next?
A keg appears and we start playing quarters.
17. You've been given the opportunity to play -- all expenses paid -- in a foreign country that bands don't normally get to visit. You get to pick the country. Where do you go?
Umm to make art…because again I'm not in a band, but these are better questions then any other random place on the internet…I'd want to go to CUBA!
18. What food item do you always eat, even though you shouldn't? And why shouldn't you be eating it?
It changes depending on a lot of things…and anything that I found on the floor…because I found it on the floor.
19. Why are frogs amusing?
Been over this before, see picture [now deleted] or previous blog for additional details.
20. Your favorite broken-up band is going to reunite for one show only at the venue of your choice (yes, we know this is implausible. Who cares?). Who's the band, and what's the venue?
Does this include resurrecting the dead? If so I would love to see Morphine, if not Soul Coughing, both shows at the place that is now Halo back when it was an awesome all ages punk dive.
21. Is the Internet destroying the English language?
Could be? I'd say more likely the text message and a need for speed has its hand in the mix, then just general dinkyness.
22. Several US states have adopted "three strikes and you're out" laws, which basically mean that after you're found guilty of three felonies, you're imprisoned for life. How do you feel about that? Is it effective lawmaking, or needlessly harsh?
Nothing like wasting money, I dunno shit like this gets me really agitated because I'd rather not even have to answer that question. If the funding and support that goes into the prison system was applied to community outreach and education programs we might not need so fucking much aggressive control money to keep the frightened upper middle class comfortable in their SUV's when they drive downtown! I know that I am over simplifying , but this really gets my hackles up.
Currently reading:
Tuesday
By David Wiesner
--
Saturday, June 09, 2007
Living the high life.
Current mood:crapulent
Should I be counting at this point…yes folks it's true we are approaching an epoch almost a year of no *hoo hoo* in my life self inflicted or otherwise.
"We're not sure how long she has been in there, but our sources tell us that she has been wallowing in her own crapulence for almost 219 days, close friends say that is one of her longest crapulence benders coming just days after she was scheduled to release her new campaign slogan…"
"Her publicist refuses to comment, but the news networks are reporting that someone close to her has leaked the slogan and we here at CNN will be the first to reveal it… 'Fuck till I'm Thin'…there you have it folks, we expect to see that catch on faster then 'where's the beef'…"
I like breasts; I like my breasts they are kind of like soft hams. Man do some days just suck.
Currently playing:
Law & Order: Criminal Intent
--
Monday, June 11, 2007
Who was your last quality waste of time
Current mood: lonely
Picked up from GT 'who was your last'
Blogged because I don't really post bulletins.
Body: Rule #1:
If you open this you GOTTA take it.(Or leave it, I don't care)
Rule # 2:
You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone
messages you and asks (Sure, fine, whatever, no one cares anyway, boo hoo hoo)
Rule #3:
Only answer True or False (Brake the rules, subvert the dominant paradigm, or don't)
Q: Kissed someone on your top friends?: TRUE
Q: Been arrested?: FALSE
Q: Kissed someone you didn't like? TRUE
Q: You like someone?: I'm trying.
Q: Held a snake?: TRUE
Q: Been suspended from school?: FALSE
Q: Been fired from a job?: Sort of.
Q: Sang karaoke?: TRUE
Q: Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?: TRUE
Q: Laughed until you started crying?: TRUE
Q: Caught a snowflake on your tongue? TRUE
Q: Kissed in the rain?: I wish.
Q: Sang in the shower?: TRUE
Q: Sat on a roof top?: FALSE
Q: Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?: FALSE
Q. Broken a bone?: FALSE
Q: Shaved your head?: FALSE
Q: Played a prank on someone?: TRUE
Q: Had/have a gym membership?: TRUE
Q: Made a girlfriend/boyfriend cry?: FALSE
Q: Shot a gun?: TRUE
Q: Donated Blood?: FALSE
Q: Had your heart broken?: TRUE
Q: Broken someone's heart?: I dunno.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LAST PERSON....
1. You hung out with? Merlot
2. last person you texted? Merlot
3. last person you were in a car with? Merlot
4. Went to the movies with? Natti
5. Went to the mall with? I don't remember that last time I went to a mall
6. You talked to on the phone?: D
7. Made you laugh?: Merlot
8. You hugged?: Firm Handshake
9. You cried with? Dr. Joe
WOULD YOU RATHER...?
1. Love or be loved? Love AND be loved.
2. Be serious or be funny?: Silly, kooky, funny.
3. Drink whole or skim milk? Rice Milk
4. Die in a fire or get shot?: Tea and Cake?
-------------------------------------------------------------
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY...
1. Sun or moon?: MOON
2. Winter or Fall?: FALL
3. Left or right?: LEFT
4. Sunny or rainy?: RAINY
6. Where do you live? SALT LAKE CITY
8. Do you want to get married?: I dunno.
9. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?: TWRIL
10. Do You Cook? Sometimes.
11. Current mood?: Lonely and Disoriented.
IN THE LAST 72 HOURS HAVE YOU...
1. Kissed someone?: NO
2. Sang?: YES
3. Been hugged?: YES
4. Cried? Only from laughing.
5. Like someone you can't have? Kind of.
Repost this as, "who was your last" (or don't)
Currently reading:
One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish (I Can Read It All by Myself Beginner Books)
By Dr. Seuss
--
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Don't LIE this is a Quality Waste of Time
Current mood:Fuck it, Kill it--There are crumbs on my desk.
Blissfully stolen from GT (my new ether best friend because he posts something like this almost everyday)
Don't Lie Survey
EIGHT Lasts
1. Last cigarette: at Merlots party
2. Last beverage: Water
3. Last phone call: Natti
4. Last text message: Natti
5. Last CD played: Gomez-Split the Difference
6. Last bubble bath: a few months ago.
7. Last time you cried: Sunday, but only from laughing so hard.
8. Last meal: PB&J and orange slices
EIGHT Have You's
1. Have you ever dated someone twice? Kinda, but not really.
2. Have you ever been cheated on? I don't know.
4. Have you ever kissed someone & regretted it? YES!
5. Have you ever fallen in love? yes
6. Have you ever lost someone? yes
7. Have you ever been depressed? Whatdaya think?! (ooch and sarcastic too)
8. Have you ever been drunk and thrown up? Yes, yes I have.
Name SIX things you did in the past three days
1. Dicked around on Myspace
2. Went to CPR&AED Training
3. Saw a local Comedy Show
4. Watched the Tony Awards
5. Went swimming
6. Hung around with Merlot
List THREE people you can tell pretty much anything to
1. Merlot
2. D
3. Dr. Joe
List THREE favorite colors
1. ORANGE
2. red
3. yellow
List TWO things you want to do before you die
1.) Travel all over the world
2.) Fuck A LOT!
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF……
1. Bush? Tasty
2. Gay Marriage? Is a civil right
4. Straight, Gay, Bi? I don't fucking know, that may be part of my problem.
5. Do you have a crush? Sort of…
6. Who is the best hugger that you know? Michelle and my other Monday night friends
7. Do you believe in love at first sight? No/yes/kind of
8. Is there something you want to tell someone? Probably
9. What brand of shirt are you wearing? I dunno I bought it at a thrift store and I am too lazy to look at the tag while I am wearing it.
10. Would you kiss anyone on your top friends? YES!
11. Do you have a "thing" for anyone on your top friend? Used to, kinda
12.HOW MANY people on your top friends? 24
13. How many kids do you want to have? I used to have 189 and that was pretty much enough for me. I am excited about being a crazy aunt.
14. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Crazy, but good.
15. Do you wanna change your name? Nah, I'm good with what I've got.
16. What did you do for your last birthday? Is it bad to say I don't remember…and not in that woo hoo fun 'I don't remember' kind of way
17. What time did you wake up today? 6:15AM
18. What were you doing at midnight last night? Trying to sleep.
19. Name something you CANNOT wait to do: Fuck it and Kill it, and finishing moving into my new place.
20. Last time you saw your dad? This morning, he made me the PB&J Sandie
21. What is one thing you wish you could change about yourself: loathing
22. Which hand do you like better? left
23. What are you listening to right now? Swedish Lounge Radio
24. Have you ever talked to Tom? I have talked to people named Tom
25. Have you ever donated money to a good cause? I think.
26. Have you ever talked about someone behind their back? YES because I am a BIG jerk!
27. Least favorite month? Depends, last year April was really shitty, and I'm not a big fan of extra hot days, but my birthday is in August so I can't hate that month, maybe July just for the temp and pomp and circumstance around pie in ear day.
28. What's the last piece of clothing you borrowed from anyone? A t-shirt from my Dad because I am still living out of a suitcase kind of.
29. Who's getting on your nerves right now? A Lot of people.
30. Most visited webpage? Marriott Library homepage and Juxtapoz
31. Would you help your best friend fight if he/she is losing? Maybe, depends on what the fight is about, I am pretty much a pacifist, but I would stand there and take the blows for them.
32. Coke or Pepsi? COKE
33. What's the worst day of your life? A bunch of times last year
34. Have you kissed or been kissed by anyone in the past week? NO
35. Do you disagree with a lot of things going on in the world? YES!
If you answered honestly to all these, repost as:
Don't Lie Survey (or don't, like I said I don't care)
Currently reading:
From Hell
By Alan Moore
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